As I write this, my son, Isaac, is standing next to me, holding his monitor in one hand and an orange maraca in the other. He's saying "Dadad" and other little sounds and is grinning at me with two pearly white-but-wonky- bottom teeth and I'm thinking, surely00.00202.09
(Sorry. I have a helper, as you can see!)
So. I am thinking, surely there is nothing better than being Isaac's Mummy.
I've seen and heard a lot recently about not being too positive on social media, because then people will think you don't have hard days. Well, I'm a positive person but, for the record, I DO have hard days...days where I don't get anything done. Days where the piles of laundry reach the ceiling and I STILL haven't got around to sorting what's already in the machine. Days when I don't get anything done from MY to do list- days where the reason I can't do anything is because Isaac just wants me to play with him, or cuddle him, or be in the same room as him. And again, I say: Surely there is nothing better than being Isaac's Mummy.
I've been thinking a lot recently about my favourite things about motherhood. An experience I had yesterday sums it up.
Yesterday was a good day. The morning had been wonderful- we spent the morning having a play date with some friends. When we came home, it was time for me to crack on with some things. Ieuan was out that evening and I had a lot I needed to get done, but I wasn't feeling great. I was tired because Isaac hasn't been sleeping well recently, and the house was messy. The kitchen floor was covered in half eaten bread sticks and dollops of fromage frais, I had washing to sort out things to tidy....it was one of those evenings and I felt a bit overwhelmed by what needed to be done. At about 10:30, I got ready for bed. I love bed time. I love unwinding with Ieuan and talking with him. We have reading time too and that's a lovely way to end the day. Anyway, I'd said my prayers and I pulled back the covers and saw this...
Now to you, this may look like a cardboard tractor. To me, it is something a bit more than that. It is a token that says "Isaac was here". When I saw it, I smiled...and didn't stop smiling, and, if I'm honest, I think I smiled tears into my eyes. I've said this to Ieuan many times, but one of my new favourite hobbies is clearing away the toys after Isaac is in bed. No, not because it marks the beginning of grown-up-baby-free-peace-at-last time. But because it reminds me of that little person, who fills my days, who is in bed, exhausted from HIS busy day. It's so easy to be wrapped up in to-do lists or errands or pulling a child down/out from a table/corner, that you miss WHAT they are doing. I am guilty of this. So, at the end of the day, when Isaac is asleep, I love to remind myself of what HE did with his day. I love to see the green stacking block behind the games trunk. I'd put it on the box earlier so he could play with something whilst he was standing there. I love to see the cardboard shapes behind the coffee table- He had probably climbed there to access Daddy's weights.
I love seeing socks in two separate places, his books scattered around, I love to see dribble marks on our sofa from where he was laughing so hard at Mummy exercising. I love to see wet smears on the french doors, because it means at some point in the day, this happened.
I love how busy he is and I love that precious insight that I get at the end of the day, tidying up, when I get to see his adventures happen all over again.
So, I love to see this
Because it means that, at some point, "Isaac was here", doing this.
I love being Isaac's Mummy because I get to put his toys away each day, ready for the next big adventure.
