"I saw Mummy kissing Santa Claus..."

This is a very Christmassy song, and is on all the old favourite CDs. When I was younger though, I didn't quite 'get it'. Especially the line "what a laugh it would have been if Daddy had only seen..." ARE THEY CRAZY?? That type of thing could RUIN Christmas. Of course when I "found out" (see previous post) I "got it" and found it amusing and endearing. I could happily relate to the children who accidentally spy their parents hugging or kissing. My sister Jess would feign the grossed- out adolescent but secretly, I know she appreciated it too. It's lovely to know your parents love each other. My husband also comes from that kind of home. My parents-in-law are very much in love and I know that this has made an impression on Ieuan and the way he is as a husband.

Here are pictures of our beautiful parents (I hope they don't mind!), whom we love very much. We are so grateful for their examples!

This subject isn't something I've thought particularly for a long while...until just the other day.

When Ieuan comes home from university, Isaac is invariably in his high chair enjoying/hating dinner. The sight of his Daddy turns his enjoyment of dinner into ecstasy or his hatred of dinner into enjoyment. Daddy has a remarkable effect on Isaac's mood, and it is wonderful to see. So, Daddy comes in, plays 'boo' with Isaac, gives him a kiss and then comes over to me and gives me a big hug and a kiss. Recently, during our cuddle, we notice that all is silent. We turn our heads simultaneously and see Isaac with his head cocked, and a big cheeky grin on his face that seems to say "naaawwww, you guys!/ I just saw Mummy kissing Santa Claus"

(Kind of like this!)

It makes us laugh! But, in all seriousness, Isaac loves it when Ieuan and I hug. And that's made me think. There's all kinds of security that you seek for as a family, that you think would be the most important for your child- financial security, a stable roof over your head (no, not THAT kind of stable!) a good school... perhaps it's important to you to not move around too much, or to encourage your children to associate with the same group of friends throughout their student life. Maybe, it's important for you to help your child feel secure by keeping them up-to-date with the "in" things... One Direction, X boxes, Frozen... In order to achieve these ideals, we put an extraordinary amount of effort in- working hard to earn all we would need to be financially secure and ensure our children want for nothing. We expend a lot of time and energy filling our children's lives with extra-curricular activities, and keeping busy to give them an exciting life filled with things "the other children do". All of these things ARE important. Absolutely. But not at the expense of the most important KIND of stability.

 I put it to you that perhaps financial security, a big house and the latest Frozen merchandise will not replace the stability found in a husband and wife loving and showing love to each other. A small house is fine, if your parents love each other. Scrimping and saving together is fine when your parents spend time with each other and with their children. And, trust me, happiness is not found in the latest games console. I only have a tiny child, and so perhaps I can't speak with such authority on the subject. On the other hand, I have been a child and still am the child of my parents. I have been a child in a single parent home, in a home with a new parent, and, eventually, new siblings. I have been in a home where there hasn't been a large bedroom for each child, or the latest gadgets, and I can remember plenty of times when we've saved hard as a family because our financial situation required that of us. When I look at all of the transient situations we can find ourselves in, and that I have been in myself, I look back and see security amidst it all because my parents created a stable environment for me with their time, their love for each other, and their love for us.

As a parent now, I feel very keenly, a desire to fill Isaac's life with the same joys. The REAL, lasting joys. I see too many couples mock each other, or be unkind, callous or sarcastic. Too many people seem to jump on the "slate your husband with the other women" band wagon. It's tragic.
I love my husband. I respect him as the head of our home and as my partner in parenting. I love to support him in all he does. I love being his friend and confidante. I love being his girlfriend and wife. I love building a family with him. I hope that, regardless of what life throws at us, Isaac will always feel safe and secure in the knowledge that Mummy and Daddy love each other, and that they love him. I want him to see us speaking kindly to each other, helping each other, laughing together, hugging and holding hands with each other, because that's how HE will learn to be kind to others, to show affection, to be caring and sharing... The responsibility on us as parents in this day and age is tremendous. This week I have come to a real understanding that in order for Isaac to be the kind of boy I want him to be, it needs to start with me and my husband, in our home.

So if you've been busy recently, and haven't had that end-of-the-day reunion hug when you or your husband come home, treat yourselves. A family that hugs together, stays together.

"I believe..."

I've been meaning to write this for some time, so bear with me as a sort out all the thoughts I have racing through my head!

One of my most favourite Christmas films is "Miracle on 34th Street". I love it when the baddies reveal their "I believe" badges. I love it because it makes it perfectly plausible for grown-ups to believe whole-heartedly and unreservedly in Father Christmas and all he stands for. I would, for the record, like to stand on my Christmassy soap box and shout to the world... "I BELIEVE IN FATHER CHRISTMAS". Even after I was told, at the age of 11 that Father Christmas was not real, I still believed and held, desperately on to all the evidences I had...

• That note he wrote me in green pen, in elaborate, cursive handwriting, when I asked him to buy my wonderful parents 'jewels' from Argos (my class knows no bounds). He told me that "You and your sister are the greatest jewels your parents could have ever asked for"...
• That sooty Rudolph footprint from the [electric, I believe] fireplace at my Grandma's one Christmas morning. 
• How do you explain how those store Santas always managed to give me gifts I LOVED??

The reason for my desperate clutching was because I had not ever even wondered about Santa's authenticity. There were no questions in my mind. Not one. He was real, I wrote to him every year, he brought gifts, left a stocking on the end of my bed... He and I were tight. 

I remember the fateful day when my mother delivered the blow. I felt a little bit like my Christmasses would never, ever be the same. And I was right. (So far, you may feel that I am bolstering the view of the "Don't let your children believe because Santa's a LIE" camp. Wait, my friends. Wait). 

It took me a couple of years to get into a new Christmas groove. I enjoyed helping my parents with the stockings. I didn't even mind helping Rudolph eat his 'Smarties' (don't tell me about carrots. Rudolph always had Smarties in my house). It was fun. But there was one thing that never changed. Every year, on Christmas Eve night, I wrote my letter to Father Christmas- partly, I suppose, to keep things going for my younger sister, but mostly, to keep some of the magic alive for myself. It was this simple, personal tradition that transformed my Christmasses from "Father Christmas" oriented to "Christmas Spirit" oriented. 

"It is a glorious thing to have old St. Nicholas in our hearts and in our homes today, whether he enters the latter through the open door or creeps down the chimney on Christmas Eve. To bring happiness to others without seeking personal honor or praise by publishing it is a most commendable virtue. . . .

Good old St. Nicholas has long since gone the way of all mortals, but the joy he experienced in doing kindly deeds is now shared by millions who are learning that true happiness comes only by making others happy—the practical application of the Savior’s doctrine of losing one’s life to gain it. In short, the Christmas spirit is the Christ spirit, that makes our hearts glow in brotherly love and friendship and prompts us to kind deeds of service." David O McKay (9th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints)

I remember realising one year how my letters to Father Christmas had changed. They had gone from...

 "Dear Father Christmas,

Thank you so much for the wonderful doll you left last Christmas. It was perfect. This year, I don't want much at all, but you know me....another doll would be great..." (more or less)

to...

"Dear Father Christmas,

I've had a really wonderful year. Thank you so much for all you've done. Last Christmas was really wonderful. I've been very blessed. I feel very grateful for my family and friends and for all that I have....."

You see, I realised then that my letters weren't to Father Christmas at all. They were to my Heavenly Father. At some point, they had changed addressee- from the man who gave me physical gifts at Christmas time, to the man who gives me all kinds of gifts all year round. 

Was it wrong for me to believe in Father Christmas? Was it blasphemous for me to attribute many of the qualities of a loving Heavenly Father to a jolly man in a red suit? I don't believe so. After I lost my Christmas groove following finding out about Father Christmas, it was by CONTINUING to "believe" that helped me to find it again.

The man in the red suit is a perfect symbol for everything that Christmas should be about. He is the image that personifies the excitement a child feels at this time of year, and is, consequently, a wonderful way to help children understand their feelings and expand upon them. As a Christian, Christmas is all about Christ for me. ALL about Him. I believe in Christ all the year through and I try every day to be more like him in his goodness, kindness, compassion etc... Believing in Father Christmas takes a small part of the joy of Christ and wraps it up especially for Christmas, for all people to enjoy, religious or not. 

Father Christmas is generous, happy, kind, forgiving (no doubt there were Christmasses in all our lives where we did not deserve all we received! Yet somehow, he always came!) There is nothing unkind, or evil about Father Christmas. In his essence, he is NOT a commercial creation for the selling of the latest toys. Not at all. I would put it to you that, perhaps, if you feel that way, you have got HIM all wrong. He never brought me the lastest toys or the most expensive gadgets. He never went over the top. In my house, he was just they way he should be and he was magical. Indeed, I would say, for Father Christmas to be magical, you need very little.

What I learned from my years of writing those letters is that they were all to 

Father Christmas. 

The Father OF Christmas. 

The Father of Christ. Indeed,

The Father of us all. 

HE is whom I have to be grateful for all the gifts I receive...whether that's that my parents were able to afford the doll I have always wanted, or that this year I have been able to help friends in need, or use my talents and time to bless others... or most importantly, that HE sent His son to earth to live, and die, and rise again, as an example to us all of how to be and who we can turn to for help as we walk the paths of life. We do not need to be alone. Because our Heavenly Father, gave us that first, most precious Christmas gift, we might have happiness and joy, not just at Christmas time, but all the year through. 

I am so grateful for the things I have learnt through my belief in Father Christmas. I am excited to make him come alive for my children, as my parents did for me, and I am equally excited to see them learn and discover the same things that I have. Because for me, he IS real, because all he stands for is real. So. I believe in Father Christmas. *shows badge*.

"There are men who object to Santa Claus, because he does not exist! Such men need spectacles to see that Santa Claus is a symbol; a symbol of the love and joy of Christmas and the Christmas spirit. In the land of my birth there was no Santa Claus, but a little goat was shoved into the room, carrying with it a basket of Christmas toys and gifts. The goat of itself counted for nothing; but the Christmas spirit, which it symbolized, counted for a tremendous lot." John A Widtsoe, (former member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles)