"I saw Mummy kissing Santa Claus..."

This is a very Christmassy song, and is on all the old favourite CDs. When I was younger though, I didn't quite 'get it'. Especially the line "what a laugh it would have been if Daddy had only seen..." ARE THEY CRAZY?? That type of thing could RUIN Christmas. Of course when I "found out" (see previous post) I "got it" and found it amusing and endearing. I could happily relate to the children who accidentally spy their parents hugging or kissing. My sister Jess would feign the grossed- out adolescent but secretly, I know she appreciated it too. It's lovely to know your parents love each other. My husband also comes from that kind of home. My parents-in-law are very much in love and I know that this has made an impression on Ieuan and the way he is as a husband.

Here are pictures of our beautiful parents (I hope they don't mind!), whom we love very much. We are so grateful for their examples!

This subject isn't something I've thought particularly for a long while...until just the other day.

When Ieuan comes home from university, Isaac is invariably in his high chair enjoying/hating dinner. The sight of his Daddy turns his enjoyment of dinner into ecstasy or his hatred of dinner into enjoyment. Daddy has a remarkable effect on Isaac's mood, and it is wonderful to see. So, Daddy comes in, plays 'boo' with Isaac, gives him a kiss and then comes over to me and gives me a big hug and a kiss. Recently, during our cuddle, we notice that all is silent. We turn our heads simultaneously and see Isaac with his head cocked, and a big cheeky grin on his face that seems to say "naaawwww, you guys!/ I just saw Mummy kissing Santa Claus"

(Kind of like this!)

It makes us laugh! But, in all seriousness, Isaac loves it when Ieuan and I hug. And that's made me think. There's all kinds of security that you seek for as a family, that you think would be the most important for your child- financial security, a stable roof over your head (no, not THAT kind of stable!) a good school... perhaps it's important to you to not move around too much, or to encourage your children to associate with the same group of friends throughout their student life. Maybe, it's important for you to help your child feel secure by keeping them up-to-date with the "in" things... One Direction, X boxes, Frozen... In order to achieve these ideals, we put an extraordinary amount of effort in- working hard to earn all we would need to be financially secure and ensure our children want for nothing. We expend a lot of time and energy filling our children's lives with extra-curricular activities, and keeping busy to give them an exciting life filled with things "the other children do". All of these things ARE important. Absolutely. But not at the expense of the most important KIND of stability.

 I put it to you that perhaps financial security, a big house and the latest Frozen merchandise will not replace the stability found in a husband and wife loving and showing love to each other. A small house is fine, if your parents love each other. Scrimping and saving together is fine when your parents spend time with each other and with their children. And, trust me, happiness is not found in the latest games console. I only have a tiny child, and so perhaps I can't speak with such authority on the subject. On the other hand, I have been a child and still am the child of my parents. I have been a child in a single parent home, in a home with a new parent, and, eventually, new siblings. I have been in a home where there hasn't been a large bedroom for each child, or the latest gadgets, and I can remember plenty of times when we've saved hard as a family because our financial situation required that of us. When I look at all of the transient situations we can find ourselves in, and that I have been in myself, I look back and see security amidst it all because my parents created a stable environment for me with their time, their love for each other, and their love for us.

As a parent now, I feel very keenly, a desire to fill Isaac's life with the same joys. The REAL, lasting joys. I see too many couples mock each other, or be unkind, callous or sarcastic. Too many people seem to jump on the "slate your husband with the other women" band wagon. It's tragic.
I love my husband. I respect him as the head of our home and as my partner in parenting. I love to support him in all he does. I love being his friend and confidante. I love being his girlfriend and wife. I love building a family with him. I hope that, regardless of what life throws at us, Isaac will always feel safe and secure in the knowledge that Mummy and Daddy love each other, and that they love him. I want him to see us speaking kindly to each other, helping each other, laughing together, hugging and holding hands with each other, because that's how HE will learn to be kind to others, to show affection, to be caring and sharing... The responsibility on us as parents in this day and age is tremendous. This week I have come to a real understanding that in order for Isaac to be the kind of boy I want him to be, it needs to start with me and my husband, in our home.

So if you've been busy recently, and haven't had that end-of-the-day reunion hug when you or your husband come home, treat yourselves. A family that hugs together, stays together.